perfect stranger

“Perfect stranger”

I mixed pure satisfaction
With flawless nothings,
Produced a stranger that
Touched me.

I approached her
With a hand
Opened my door told her to get in.
She was a stranger to my eyes, but to my soul
Equaled a total of
100%.
I knew her smile from some place heaven sent,
An she was so perfect……
There had to be another life I was stuck in!
Cuz our conversations
Were relevant
That we were more then 2 apples hanging from the same tree.

Flawless stranger.
Her sent melted my soul
Like snow….
And intact entirely with my spirit
I was dreaming in time that me an her knew each other some where
Before I opened my door?.......

I mixed stranger,
With confusional like thinking…
“Umm……
Excuse me Mrs.”
(But have I seen u before?)
Cuz the way u walk an the way Ur hair blows
I remember counting Ur steps,
Touching Ur existence before….
“An I heard u like poetry
Readings at coffee shops
Cuz I sat an watched u sip
5creams 4 sugars to settle the score.”
I’ve been watching u with my soul
An in my dreams
Ravishing Ur beauty
Trying to multiply an divide
Ur whole blessing.

Ud never believe
Her name remains guessing….
Cuz she’s a stranger
So perfect
My heart beats for her more
I wanna slide next to her an open the door
“What’s up ma?
Haven’t I seen u before?”

Maybe its Ur short hair,
Got me kissing on Ur neck
Lost in Ur whole actuality
Of me being invisible…

Intangible
Crossed legs
A smile that shines brighter then the moon
I think she’s my perfect stranger!
My perfect outlander
My outlet to what’s missing
N descent of my frustrations,
I hear her threw my headphones
I wear on my chest.
My ears are def to the negative comments
Of eww she’s a lesbian!!!

“So excuse me Mrs.
Haven’t I seen u before?”
Maybe it was our 5star wedding we had
B4 1804……………….
Maybe it was our chemistry
We had as u walked by me at the mall………….
Maybe it was my hand that melted into urs?
Ur my perfect stranger that turned into something
More. Or maybe my dreams that put u together in my sleep
So un-bare-able for me to not believe we were ment to be!

“Hey ma
What’s Ur name?”
I think ive seen u before!

trust

I have always had TRUST issues,

Balancing……. Confidence, an inner window….

With “I TRUST YOU”

When trusting myself has always been the real issue.


And not even just a (relationship) type TRUST cuz in that

Since I TRUST me b4 I TRUST anyone else

AND THAT’S KINDA SELFISH BUT

Im not here for anyone’s entertainment,

{{{Or how many times u can break my heart}}}

{{{Or how many I love yous come falling apart}}}

Like a needle to a blanket,

Like sand to an ocean,

I TRUST every inch of grain THAT WE STEP THREW

JUST TO REACH THE EDGE OF THE WATER……

IVE

Thrown messages of potions in the puddles of my mistakes

AND WATCHED THEM disincarnate.


Now I can provide myself with the self esteem

To trust another human being, but it is harder then u think.

Being I was almost married until everything in my life suddenly changed!

He found others,… and I was left in the rain to drowned in my own sorrows……

Wondering were I went wrong.

So soaking up my own tears from the hands he decided to borrow. So trusting someone

Is harder then u think.


I’ve never in my life felt so low,

Never felt so UN loved,

“I guess affections is what I lack of.”

My soul screams every morning,

My lips plead in content of why I can’t jus turn over an kiss you!!!!!!!!!!

My dreams dream im with u!!!!!!!!!!

But, I wake up on the floor,

Reaching for Ur body to brush my hands threw Ur hair.

The kiss I place to Ur 4 head that whispers I love you every morning when I wake.

{{{But Ur not there so I guess ill wait}}}}

It’s just another door I must walk threw…………..

The strength god has given me is UN believable,

And just when I think im perfecting the believable I fall apart once more……


The frustration is killing me,

The I wanna be in Ur arms is barring my every confidence, “it’s my early coffin.”

Always in the back of my mind the words contemplate back in forth, “u may find someone else.”

An that’s when I battle T-R-U-S-T (RELIANCE)

I’ve hurt myself in so many ways……. (PUASE)

It’s hard to look in the mirror these days…… (PAUSE)

Placing my hands together to pray, that

Ur life collides with mine.

And no matter what ppl say u an I well ride tell the end of time!

I want my book to end in love with Ur whole being,

So trusting u is THE 1st chapter I wrote

In BOLD LETTERS…..

Making words VIBE with the subject of I <3 YOU!!!

(So trusting u well be easy)


I gotta trust my self in chapter 2 that my inner windows shine like

The moon, an my eyes sparkle like the stars,

And every kiss shot to mars is worth every moment

I get to spend with u.

I cherish every sentence WRITTEN IN ....UR.... EXISTENCE

U are more then just this person……………..

I talk to…………

Ur the grass around the trunk of my heart the continues to gross,

An fertilizes my body to breathe…..

The sharpener to my pencil that gives me the strength to write

AND READ,

U are the paper I tell everything to

So without u im really nothing!!!!!!!!!!!


Im a soul with bruises that well never fade,

So TRUST is what I must in grave. (And pray)

Trusting u is gonna be easy I MUST SAY!!!

Ill put my spirit on stage an cry tears for u,

Write in mirror image in parallel lines,

Read backwards until time rewinds…..

I wanna make impossible possible until the end of this line!!!


u are my “TRUST”

Even though my finger tip lust for your touch

I find myself counting days on end waiting tell u can jus be mine…..

Calling numbers of hope screaming at faith!

Putting god on this pedestal stool that I yell at every night b4 I go to sleep,

Why!!! ????

Why!!! ????

Why, is this happening?

(an I cry tears u never see)

I worry cuz I love you,

I get mad sometimes cuz I jus want to be next to YOU!

So don’t ever think that I don’t TRUST you…..


(Im battling myself)

Sorting out all the shit ive been threw

Trying to throw OUT the baggage of pain,

Relapsing every now an then.

“YOU ARE MY DRUG I CANT GET ENOUGH OF”

I’ve taught myself how to love in a different way,

One nobody knows about but YOU.

I give my all,….MY every men skill fragment that remains

I give u my all!!!!!

Until my all is all I can give,

Until my heart stops beating I give u my TRUST

In my whole being that u

Are worth every day I have to wait………………………………..

dieing alone

If I could dig my soul from my spirit,
Id dig further then 6 feet…..
Cuz under my skins
Is a deadly sin
That coffins me to the new noises
My lips refuse to speak.
I'm cranberry of a bladder infection,
Anxiety of anti depression,
Dizzy from this aggression, So….
if I could dig past my resurrection
Id dig pasted 6 feet………
for what's its worth I've been
Dieing for ages!
Souls broken of men skill pages,
Fragments remains
In this writings of pencil shavings…?
Pressure pushes my brain
Up against the 4 walls I've confined myself in!
Counting days thinking my last hours (I well die alone!)
Finding myself days after layn in my own disaster,
phone in my left hand 911 left on hold…..
I watched my eyes roll back as I dropped to the floor
Foam came from my mouth… “someone help”!!

(I'm dieing alone)

An as I sat outside myself I put my hands out
An pressed together praying to god!
An as I laid next too my body I let myself go

HOW CAN I BLAME THE MAN ABOVE!

When my heart stopped pumping poetry thru my veins,
And my life ran ahead of me, when I cheated the game,
I lost contact wit my soul
An my spirit ran away.
So I died thinking life was nothing but a filthy ass game!
So within my name I wrote poetry to help ones relate,
When u feel like YOU’VE lost control of ur own life!!!
U been dieing for ages yet nobodys opened there eyes to witness ur dieing strife!!!
So u cleaned up the blood from the scene, wiped up the blood stains,
Packed Ur body up an threw it in Ur own trunk of desired dreams…
Purified Ur mental with fairy dust, when sleep became Ur favorite theme
Nobody sees u anymore.
when dialing 911 all u hear is a busy tone…………………………..

GIVING UP SEEMS TO BE THE LAST OPTION!

So I picked up the phone an put it back on the wall
Pressed my hands together an jumped back into my body prayed to god plz dont let me die alone!

i just wanna know

If I ripped my heart out my chest,
an sealed it wit no address
Would u dissect it?

By all means
My heart seems to beat funny.
So how hard it is to identify?
Known Ur head has lied on my chest,
so I know u studied my every beat........

And in all raw dis function if u touch it I tend to fall
Believing Ur sorrys once an for all
("again").........
My heart fell for Ur stupid games!
Cuz the word I love you remains Insane in a cage I've try to lock away.
"But this isn't why im unhappy today."

And I can write one poem after another
But I still remain undercover to this thing
Clogging my true feelings.
I feel like I couldn't cry enough tears to understand
My every fears in this life Long game.

And days I sit wondering where ill be in 5 yrs!
And how are my feelings going to change?
How can I fix something that remains,
Invisible to my eye sight,
And out reached by these close fisted hands
I try 2 press together an pray,
But one thing still remains
Im not happy!

So what makes janae happy?

Going back n forth Like a book I've read more then once
But can't comprehend the meanings!
Starting over from chapter 1
(greetings)

still can't remember what I read.

And the fucked up part is when I cry tears of the devil
Evilness in this smile of all my trial and tribulations
Hunt me again!

I've cried tears,
wiped finger tips parallel down my cheeks,
Looked in the mirror....
"god how I hate what I see"
Sad part is idk what makes me happy!

I've opened my chest let in things I can't compress
Tight fisted,
I've held back emotions
But fact is I've bottled more then alcohol, anWet cherry blunts to disguise my UN happiness!
When the pain set on faces of ppl that try to figure janae out.......
Truth is
im not a pencil u can't erase
My pain!

Im a marker that stays clearly disguising rain drops down my face!
Coloring my world in colors Bright to the worlds eye sight.......

I feel like I don’t belong Here!!!

I feel as if I don’t sing this song,
or write this poetry!
Nobody well ever know how I really feel inside....
I've killed fragments held tears that clearly needed to be painted an hung on walls of ppls souls.

I may have made mistakes

but somewhere inside me Is a women I've yet to know,
An Im crying cuz change is all I need!

Dragging my world into pieces,
If my heart was to beat 1 last beat,
Count my every movement an write me in books
Jus so I can sit down an continue to read.
(Taking notes)

Id like to meet janae!
B4 god sweeps me off my feet an lays me 6 deep.

I want to know what makes me happy!
And how true love feels,
I wanna look in the mirror an smile
Walking miles on these 2 feet,
Snapping my fingers,
To a new beat..........
"I just wanna know what makes me happy"
Cuz I already know what makes me cry!!!

COME LAY WITH ME

(MAEDARULA)

Come Lay With Me
with potent potency completely taking hold of me...
unknowingly...
aroused by each and every glance you send my way
oh so forwardly..
baby...
come lay with me and complete this trifecta
just you & me and a body like GOD's perfection forgetting about hectic decisions of everyday living and get lost mentally within your mind
& physically within the division of your legs
go ahead and spread
allow me to enter this paradise on earth
a region that will give birth to renewed feelings
that's worth the selection
so come

(JANAE)

(Come lay with me)
Let me feel the elements of your body,
"Yes let me feel"
I can smell the existents of Ur heart beating,
And the movements of my hands Running down every square inch,

Damn never knew Ur sexiness stretched outside Of Ur presents.

(Come lay with me)
Feel the wetness between My legs,
let me put candy On top of Ur peep hole
No traces
Î don’t need a blue print to create the thesis of Ur delectation’s.
Let my eyes wonder down to Ur lips
Slip my Tung in between some of the most beautiful hips.
(I've ever seen)
And never seen
Legs spread as wide as this.
Let ME confabulate with Mrs. Pretty For a few hours,
Take her to the shower an Refresh this,
So we can lay together once again.

Ur god’s reflection,
And I'm Mary's hand
(what a virgin)
can’t explain the tightness Uve displayed!
So....... (come lay with me)
Create passion,
Screaming my name in this bedroom.
I've pressed record so we can press play,
And when Ur away
Î can rewind the 1st time u laid in my bed
And we put on a display of Sweet juices......

I'm a recite my technique’s in my sleep
While my hands run threw Ur hair.
So...... (come lay with me)
And feel the unconditional Love in the air,
Why Î replace ur head with mine near.
(Come lay with me)

janae& roy toy lol

(JANAE)

This enticing,
Unforgettable,
Sexual Desire,
has Untied my morals,
An fucked my brain...

Moving my spine to the left
So fuck itHow can I do right?
When a blessing sits between my thighs,
How can I say no?
When the dressing taste so right!

An what do Î look like giving a fuck about what think?
Naw Î ant no celebrity
So what's it matter to u?
Put me on the front cover of ppl magazine
Titled "fuck you"
Turn to page 22 read a lot more!
I seen her laid out on the beach with Alicia moore... lol

It this indescribable
Wetness
Taste like fruit punch juices,
Swimming in my every moves in moving this Your way.

And yes my girl knows about u!
An since I've been played, (then hell Î owe her a few)

Its this purple sensual Kisses,
tingling my body infested with Ur touch!
So when I'm sleep I dream of Ur love.

And who said I'm telling the truth Baby?
"all Î wanna do is fuck"
Run my Tung down Ur torso I'm not worried about when u cum!
Cuz Î don’t swollen shit unless is bomb..

(Only real fools fall in love) DUH!!!

Hope ya don’t take this wrong But Î don’t give a fuck!
Ima sing u in this song, Fuck u to the beat,
I'm immoral with the way u think.

Tied up in a sling
Broken heart,
Broken love,
Broken home,
No glove
Lets do it dirty!!!!

And because I don’t care about Ur feelings An u don’t give a fuck about mine ima call u up An let u hear her scream!

My pimpin dream

Catches on to the confusing ass feelings U throw in my catchers mitt!
only problem is I keep on missing it.....
Get Ur feelings lined up an stand in the back of the line An wait for me to call Ur name!
Cuz understanding an standing under feelings Won't get u anywhere but a wet dream, 2 fingers an the index fucking the inside of u.
until u climax an wake up to realize it ant what it seems....

An because u can't get in-between
My teeth
I'm a fuck her on the side of u.

Tangled in her web,
Poisoned by her touch,
I've made love to her heart, an fucked her emotions
More then once!

janae don’t catch feelings off a sexual love
DUH!!!!!

What if I didn’t care about clearing thee air?
What if Î didn’t say I was sorry for Messing up Ur sheets with her?
And What if Î never stuck around to hear Ur Sweet
Tones an harmony moans In my left ear
Telling my mind to do right?

I'd never be standing here in real life!
That's why I never cheated on u not even 1time.

So don’t get me twisted in the rhymed of rhythms Called poetry
Cuz, in my pimpn dream
It all seems to be unfaithful.
Looking into Ur eyes hurts
When I know I've looked into hers The sameThe night B4!
and jus because I'm lost in a dream So unreal Dnt think i haven't thought of this b4.
Its hard to tell What wheels are turning in what direction Cuz like a mop ill ring u out an still want more.LOL

Its a pimpin dream need i say more???



(ROY)

Ill keep u copasetic if u let me
Whisper sweet nothings so u won't 4get me
Touch u all soft u won't 4get it
I'm hella sweet jus hope u ain't a diabetic
Some plz phone a paramedic
Withdrawls from artificial sweetner leavin u a heart that's all prostetic.

So they nick named me Splenda
A simplistically sweet suga pretenda
N I can remember when I met her
I think it was in the 3rd week of november
Yah she let me bender even tho I jus met her
I felt like nuthn could get better
like a rat when he finds his block of cheddar.

Gratification that u can eat but at the end its all gone
These temporary fixes only last for so long.
Then its on to the next 1.
I need a fresh one
Checkn the expiration date like every1 should
because we've all had our share of spoiled goods
And trust me its gross when its stale
make a thizz face n spit it strait towards hell
N what could b that smell? no 1 likes rotten
That's why if u ain't wit it u will be forgotten.
N I ain't stoppin........
So to hell with it it goes.
N on to other hoes as I paint over my emotions n hide my feelings with these clothes.
Pimpn never really shows what's goin on or what they know.
Just keep watchn as u puttn on a show.....
u coulda been an actor...
but u'd make better clown tho
Well that's all folks now the curtains closed...

Mental Assumptions

Continuous, mental, (Assumptions.)
Tugging at each an every one Of my last emotions.
Making me throw my soul In nurtural,
an jus levitate for The time being
Making my understanding mutual with ur Well being.

So in order for me to do that I've locked my feelings And disagreement's to the way to u do shit Into a box.
stored right below my spirit
(Tagged what use to be love)
In red marker.....
So when ur ready let me know,
An be ready to actually hear it.
Its 2 stair cases high,
over to the left Pushed back into the right corner of my chest
Blocking anyone from getting in.
(And that's the fucked up part)
Holding back from myself,
and what someone else deserves Cuz I'm afraid to hurt ur feelings.

I'm Shoved into the left corner of ur heart,
Î can barely hear the beat.
Taping my finger nails down my leg I've lost my feeling.....
Î couldn't even tell u the last time i cried Over the same thing.
My souls ran out of washer fluids so my eyes Dnt leak much of anything,
An since I've blocked the only way these feelings can get in,
(out)
There's noo need 2 medicate my freeing.

Naked to all lifes new things
I've smelled love when its fresh,
an when its expired
"What a mess"
I've repeated myself so much I could of been an actress
within myself
So mentally I'm tired of nagging about the same fealth!
Assuming someone else has took care of what they call
My job!
soo ima kick up my feet an count how many times u actually say u love me!
I've wrote vacancy into words to describe the way This shit makes me feel!
And I've tried to tell u in different ways each time But Î dnt think u understand!
The physical finger tips that created this pen,
to write these words To help u guys understand Janae has been hurt 2!

I know how it feels to be heart broken on something U worked soo hard to get threw.
So dnt think Î can't feel ur pain an wipe ur tears when needed!
Dnt think janae is cold hearted cuz she left her x the way she did,
An dnt think cuz she's a victim of domestic violence u can miss treat janae in anyway!
(She's not stupid)

Dnt call me confused cuz i like dudes an happen to fuck with girls,
Or cuz Î like girls an happen to fuck wit dudes,
Cuz honestly
what's it matter to u!???

But with lifes baggage's its hard to trust ppl So my mental assumption
Put boxing gloves on an beat the shit out of my emotions.
That's why i dnt cry,
(Î bleed inside)
That's why Î dnt talk,
(Î scream an hide)
So Without my poetry u mother fuckers wouldn't even know how janae feels inside!
Dnt call me nieve,
Or a bitch,
Î can be romantic an passionate,
Î can be ur best wish,
Or ur worst night mare.....
And trust me Î believe in karma too,
So dnt think I'm not prepared for whatever is coming to...

But if Î say i love you,
(plz believe Î ment it boo)
Word dnt slip ur lips an knock into ur spirits for secs Minimizing mins
From one heart to the next......
If Î snapped my fingers would u hear the existence
Of the music drowning out my souls best assists?

Grabbing into ur force an jus trying to get ur simple minded self to just fucking listen! Contemplating on my mental assumptions,
If Î listen 2 my heart i may have to deal with repercussions!

So I've Chilled on ice
Forming a box in my chest,
Sipping my last drink b4 show time.
I've imprisoned the way Î feel for u for the moment
Î dnt wanna assume anymore!
So when ur ready dnt knock at my door,
open it with open arms And communicate to my soul with ur heart.