trust

I have always had TRUST issues,

Balancing……. Confidence, an inner window….

With “I TRUST YOU”

When trusting myself has always been the real issue.


And not even just a (relationship) type TRUST cuz in that

Since I TRUST me b4 I TRUST anyone else

AND THAT’S KINDA SELFISH BUT

Im not here for anyone’s entertainment,

{{{Or how many times u can break my heart}}}

{{{Or how many I love yous come falling apart}}}

Like a needle to a blanket,

Like sand to an ocean,

I TRUST every inch of grain THAT WE STEP THREW

JUST TO REACH THE EDGE OF THE WATER……

IVE

Thrown messages of potions in the puddles of my mistakes

AND WATCHED THEM disincarnate.


Now I can provide myself with the self esteem

To trust another human being, but it is harder then u think.

Being I was almost married until everything in my life suddenly changed!

He found others,… and I was left in the rain to drowned in my own sorrows……

Wondering were I went wrong.

So soaking up my own tears from the hands he decided to borrow. So trusting someone

Is harder then u think.


I’ve never in my life felt so low,

Never felt so UN loved,

“I guess affections is what I lack of.”

My soul screams every morning,

My lips plead in content of why I can’t jus turn over an kiss you!!!!!!!!!!

My dreams dream im with u!!!!!!!!!!

But, I wake up on the floor,

Reaching for Ur body to brush my hands threw Ur hair.

The kiss I place to Ur 4 head that whispers I love you every morning when I wake.

{{{But Ur not there so I guess ill wait}}}}

It’s just another door I must walk threw…………..

The strength god has given me is UN believable,

And just when I think im perfecting the believable I fall apart once more……


The frustration is killing me,

The I wanna be in Ur arms is barring my every confidence, “it’s my early coffin.”

Always in the back of my mind the words contemplate back in forth, “u may find someone else.”

An that’s when I battle T-R-U-S-T (RELIANCE)

I’ve hurt myself in so many ways……. (PUASE)

It’s hard to look in the mirror these days…… (PAUSE)

Placing my hands together to pray, that

Ur life collides with mine.

And no matter what ppl say u an I well ride tell the end of time!

I want my book to end in love with Ur whole being,

So trusting u is THE 1st chapter I wrote

In BOLD LETTERS…..

Making words VIBE with the subject of I <3 YOU!!!

(So trusting u well be easy)


I gotta trust my self in chapter 2 that my inner windows shine like

The moon, an my eyes sparkle like the stars,

And every kiss shot to mars is worth every moment

I get to spend with u.

I cherish every sentence WRITTEN IN ....UR.... EXISTENCE

U are more then just this person……………..

I talk to…………

Ur the grass around the trunk of my heart the continues to gross,

An fertilizes my body to breathe…..

The sharpener to my pencil that gives me the strength to write

AND READ,

U are the paper I tell everything to

So without u im really nothing!!!!!!!!!!!


Im a soul with bruises that well never fade,

So TRUST is what I must in grave. (And pray)

Trusting u is gonna be easy I MUST SAY!!!

Ill put my spirit on stage an cry tears for u,

Write in mirror image in parallel lines,

Read backwards until time rewinds…..

I wanna make impossible possible until the end of this line!!!


u are my “TRUST”

Even though my finger tip lust for your touch

I find myself counting days on end waiting tell u can jus be mine…..

Calling numbers of hope screaming at faith!

Putting god on this pedestal stool that I yell at every night b4 I go to sleep,

Why!!! ????

Why!!! ????

Why, is this happening?

(an I cry tears u never see)

I worry cuz I love you,

I get mad sometimes cuz I jus want to be next to YOU!

So don’t ever think that I don’t TRUST you…..


(Im battling myself)

Sorting out all the shit ive been threw

Trying to throw OUT the baggage of pain,

Relapsing every now an then.

“YOU ARE MY DRUG I CANT GET ENOUGH OF”

I’ve taught myself how to love in a different way,

One nobody knows about but YOU.

I give my all,….MY every men skill fragment that remains

I give u my all!!!!!

Until my all is all I can give,

Until my heart stops beating I give u my TRUST

In my whole being that u

Are worth every day I have to wait………………………………..