dieing alone

If I could dig my soul from my spirit,
Id dig further then 6 feet…..
Cuz under my skins
Is a deadly sin
That coffins me to the new noises
My lips refuse to speak.
I'm cranberry of a bladder infection,
Anxiety of anti depression,
Dizzy from this aggression, So….
if I could dig past my resurrection
Id dig pasted 6 feet………
for what's its worth I've been
Dieing for ages!
Souls broken of men skill pages,
Fragments remains
In this writings of pencil shavings…?
Pressure pushes my brain
Up against the 4 walls I've confined myself in!
Counting days thinking my last hours (I well die alone!)
Finding myself days after layn in my own disaster,
phone in my left hand 911 left on hold…..
I watched my eyes roll back as I dropped to the floor
Foam came from my mouth… “someone help”!!

(I'm dieing alone)

An as I sat outside myself I put my hands out
An pressed together praying to god!
An as I laid next too my body I let myself go

HOW CAN I BLAME THE MAN ABOVE!

When my heart stopped pumping poetry thru my veins,
And my life ran ahead of me, when I cheated the game,
I lost contact wit my soul
An my spirit ran away.
So I died thinking life was nothing but a filthy ass game!
So within my name I wrote poetry to help ones relate,
When u feel like YOU’VE lost control of ur own life!!!
U been dieing for ages yet nobodys opened there eyes to witness ur dieing strife!!!
So u cleaned up the blood from the scene, wiped up the blood stains,
Packed Ur body up an threw it in Ur own trunk of desired dreams…
Purified Ur mental with fairy dust, when sleep became Ur favorite theme
Nobody sees u anymore.
when dialing 911 all u hear is a busy tone…………………………..

GIVING UP SEEMS TO BE THE LAST OPTION!

So I picked up the phone an put it back on the wall
Pressed my hands together an jumped back into my body prayed to god plz dont let me die alone!

i just wanna know

If I ripped my heart out my chest,
an sealed it wit no address
Would u dissect it?

By all means
My heart seems to beat funny.
So how hard it is to identify?
Known Ur head has lied on my chest,
so I know u studied my every beat........

And in all raw dis function if u touch it I tend to fall
Believing Ur sorrys once an for all
("again").........
My heart fell for Ur stupid games!
Cuz the word I love you remains Insane in a cage I've try to lock away.
"But this isn't why im unhappy today."

And I can write one poem after another
But I still remain undercover to this thing
Clogging my true feelings.
I feel like I couldn't cry enough tears to understand
My every fears in this life Long game.

And days I sit wondering where ill be in 5 yrs!
And how are my feelings going to change?
How can I fix something that remains,
Invisible to my eye sight,
And out reached by these close fisted hands
I try 2 press together an pray,
But one thing still remains
Im not happy!

So what makes janae happy?

Going back n forth Like a book I've read more then once
But can't comprehend the meanings!
Starting over from chapter 1
(greetings)

still can't remember what I read.

And the fucked up part is when I cry tears of the devil
Evilness in this smile of all my trial and tribulations
Hunt me again!

I've cried tears,
wiped finger tips parallel down my cheeks,
Looked in the mirror....
"god how I hate what I see"
Sad part is idk what makes me happy!

I've opened my chest let in things I can't compress
Tight fisted,
I've held back emotions
But fact is I've bottled more then alcohol, anWet cherry blunts to disguise my UN happiness!
When the pain set on faces of ppl that try to figure janae out.......
Truth is
im not a pencil u can't erase
My pain!

Im a marker that stays clearly disguising rain drops down my face!
Coloring my world in colors Bright to the worlds eye sight.......

I feel like I don’t belong Here!!!

I feel as if I don’t sing this song,
or write this poetry!
Nobody well ever know how I really feel inside....
I've killed fragments held tears that clearly needed to be painted an hung on walls of ppls souls.

I may have made mistakes

but somewhere inside me Is a women I've yet to know,
An Im crying cuz change is all I need!

Dragging my world into pieces,
If my heart was to beat 1 last beat,
Count my every movement an write me in books
Jus so I can sit down an continue to read.
(Taking notes)

Id like to meet janae!
B4 god sweeps me off my feet an lays me 6 deep.

I want to know what makes me happy!
And how true love feels,
I wanna look in the mirror an smile
Walking miles on these 2 feet,
Snapping my fingers,
To a new beat..........
"I just wanna know what makes me happy"
Cuz I already know what makes me cry!!!

COME LAY WITH ME

(MAEDARULA)

Come Lay With Me
with potent potency completely taking hold of me...
unknowingly...
aroused by each and every glance you send my way
oh so forwardly..
baby...
come lay with me and complete this trifecta
just you & me and a body like GOD's perfection forgetting about hectic decisions of everyday living and get lost mentally within your mind
& physically within the division of your legs
go ahead and spread
allow me to enter this paradise on earth
a region that will give birth to renewed feelings
that's worth the selection
so come

(JANAE)

(Come lay with me)
Let me feel the elements of your body,
"Yes let me feel"
I can smell the existents of Ur heart beating,
And the movements of my hands Running down every square inch,

Damn never knew Ur sexiness stretched outside Of Ur presents.

(Come lay with me)
Feel the wetness between My legs,
let me put candy On top of Ur peep hole
No traces
Î don’t need a blue print to create the thesis of Ur delectation’s.
Let my eyes wonder down to Ur lips
Slip my Tung in between some of the most beautiful hips.
(I've ever seen)
And never seen
Legs spread as wide as this.
Let ME confabulate with Mrs. Pretty For a few hours,
Take her to the shower an Refresh this,
So we can lay together once again.

Ur god’s reflection,
And I'm Mary's hand
(what a virgin)
can’t explain the tightness Uve displayed!
So....... (come lay with me)
Create passion,
Screaming my name in this bedroom.
I've pressed record so we can press play,
And when Ur away
Î can rewind the 1st time u laid in my bed
And we put on a display of Sweet juices......

I'm a recite my technique’s in my sleep
While my hands run threw Ur hair.
So...... (come lay with me)
And feel the unconditional Love in the air,
Why Î replace ur head with mine near.
(Come lay with me)

janae& roy toy lol

(JANAE)

This enticing,
Unforgettable,
Sexual Desire,
has Untied my morals,
An fucked my brain...

Moving my spine to the left
So fuck itHow can I do right?
When a blessing sits between my thighs,
How can I say no?
When the dressing taste so right!

An what do Î look like giving a fuck about what think?
Naw Î ant no celebrity
So what's it matter to u?
Put me on the front cover of ppl magazine
Titled "fuck you"
Turn to page 22 read a lot more!
I seen her laid out on the beach with Alicia moore... lol

It this indescribable
Wetness
Taste like fruit punch juices,
Swimming in my every moves in moving this Your way.

And yes my girl knows about u!
An since I've been played, (then hell Î owe her a few)

Its this purple sensual Kisses,
tingling my body infested with Ur touch!
So when I'm sleep I dream of Ur love.

And who said I'm telling the truth Baby?
"all Î wanna do is fuck"
Run my Tung down Ur torso I'm not worried about when u cum!
Cuz Î don’t swollen shit unless is bomb..

(Only real fools fall in love) DUH!!!

Hope ya don’t take this wrong But Î don’t give a fuck!
Ima sing u in this song, Fuck u to the beat,
I'm immoral with the way u think.

Tied up in a sling
Broken heart,
Broken love,
Broken home,
No glove
Lets do it dirty!!!!

And because I don’t care about Ur feelings An u don’t give a fuck about mine ima call u up An let u hear her scream!

My pimpin dream

Catches on to the confusing ass feelings U throw in my catchers mitt!
only problem is I keep on missing it.....
Get Ur feelings lined up an stand in the back of the line An wait for me to call Ur name!
Cuz understanding an standing under feelings Won't get u anywhere but a wet dream, 2 fingers an the index fucking the inside of u.
until u climax an wake up to realize it ant what it seems....

An because u can't get in-between
My teeth
I'm a fuck her on the side of u.

Tangled in her web,
Poisoned by her touch,
I've made love to her heart, an fucked her emotions
More then once!

janae don’t catch feelings off a sexual love
DUH!!!!!

What if I didn’t care about clearing thee air?
What if Î didn’t say I was sorry for Messing up Ur sheets with her?
And What if Î never stuck around to hear Ur Sweet
Tones an harmony moans In my left ear
Telling my mind to do right?

I'd never be standing here in real life!
That's why I never cheated on u not even 1time.

So don’t get me twisted in the rhymed of rhythms Called poetry
Cuz, in my pimpn dream
It all seems to be unfaithful.
Looking into Ur eyes hurts
When I know I've looked into hers The sameThe night B4!
and jus because I'm lost in a dream So unreal Dnt think i haven't thought of this b4.
Its hard to tell What wheels are turning in what direction Cuz like a mop ill ring u out an still want more.LOL

Its a pimpin dream need i say more???



(ROY)

Ill keep u copasetic if u let me
Whisper sweet nothings so u won't 4get me
Touch u all soft u won't 4get it
I'm hella sweet jus hope u ain't a diabetic
Some plz phone a paramedic
Withdrawls from artificial sweetner leavin u a heart that's all prostetic.

So they nick named me Splenda
A simplistically sweet suga pretenda
N I can remember when I met her
I think it was in the 3rd week of november
Yah she let me bender even tho I jus met her
I felt like nuthn could get better
like a rat when he finds his block of cheddar.

Gratification that u can eat but at the end its all gone
These temporary fixes only last for so long.
Then its on to the next 1.
I need a fresh one
Checkn the expiration date like every1 should
because we've all had our share of spoiled goods
And trust me its gross when its stale
make a thizz face n spit it strait towards hell
N what could b that smell? no 1 likes rotten
That's why if u ain't wit it u will be forgotten.
N I ain't stoppin........
So to hell with it it goes.
N on to other hoes as I paint over my emotions n hide my feelings with these clothes.
Pimpn never really shows what's goin on or what they know.
Just keep watchn as u puttn on a show.....
u coulda been an actor...
but u'd make better clown tho
Well that's all folks now the curtains closed...

Mental Assumptions

Continuous, mental, (Assumptions.)
Tugging at each an every one Of my last emotions.
Making me throw my soul In nurtural,
an jus levitate for The time being
Making my understanding mutual with ur Well being.

So in order for me to do that I've locked my feelings And disagreement's to the way to u do shit Into a box.
stored right below my spirit
(Tagged what use to be love)
In red marker.....
So when ur ready let me know,
An be ready to actually hear it.
Its 2 stair cases high,
over to the left Pushed back into the right corner of my chest
Blocking anyone from getting in.
(And that's the fucked up part)
Holding back from myself,
and what someone else deserves Cuz I'm afraid to hurt ur feelings.

I'm Shoved into the left corner of ur heart,
Î can barely hear the beat.
Taping my finger nails down my leg I've lost my feeling.....
Î couldn't even tell u the last time i cried Over the same thing.
My souls ran out of washer fluids so my eyes Dnt leak much of anything,
An since I've blocked the only way these feelings can get in,
(out)
There's noo need 2 medicate my freeing.

Naked to all lifes new things
I've smelled love when its fresh,
an when its expired
"What a mess"
I've repeated myself so much I could of been an actress
within myself
So mentally I'm tired of nagging about the same fealth!
Assuming someone else has took care of what they call
My job!
soo ima kick up my feet an count how many times u actually say u love me!
I've wrote vacancy into words to describe the way This shit makes me feel!
And I've tried to tell u in different ways each time But Î dnt think u understand!
The physical finger tips that created this pen,
to write these words To help u guys understand Janae has been hurt 2!

I know how it feels to be heart broken on something U worked soo hard to get threw.
So dnt think Î can't feel ur pain an wipe ur tears when needed!
Dnt think janae is cold hearted cuz she left her x the way she did,
An dnt think cuz she's a victim of domestic violence u can miss treat janae in anyway!
(She's not stupid)

Dnt call me confused cuz i like dudes an happen to fuck with girls,
Or cuz Î like girls an happen to fuck wit dudes,
Cuz honestly
what's it matter to u!???

But with lifes baggage's its hard to trust ppl So my mental assumption
Put boxing gloves on an beat the shit out of my emotions.
That's why i dnt cry,
(Î bleed inside)
That's why Î dnt talk,
(Î scream an hide)
So Without my poetry u mother fuckers wouldn't even know how janae feels inside!
Dnt call me nieve,
Or a bitch,
Î can be romantic an passionate,
Î can be ur best wish,
Or ur worst night mare.....
And trust me Î believe in karma too,
So dnt think I'm not prepared for whatever is coming to...

But if Î say i love you,
(plz believe Î ment it boo)
Word dnt slip ur lips an knock into ur spirits for secs Minimizing mins
From one heart to the next......
If Î snapped my fingers would u hear the existence
Of the music drowning out my souls best assists?

Grabbing into ur force an jus trying to get ur simple minded self to just fucking listen! Contemplating on my mental assumptions,
If Î listen 2 my heart i may have to deal with repercussions!

So I've Chilled on ice
Forming a box in my chest,
Sipping my last drink b4 show time.
I've imprisoned the way Î feel for u for the moment
Î dnt wanna assume anymore!
So when ur ready dnt knock at my door,
open it with open arms And communicate to my soul with ur heart.

cookies

Ur my peanut butter cookie
Wrapped in chocolate dressing
I climbed on top
Whipped the sweet milk as Î stared in Ur eyes
I wanna bake cookies tonight
Ur my chocolate pie
The chip that lies between ur thighs
I wanna eat ur cookie until sunrise
And with every bite My lips become numb
Must be the sweet taste after u cum
Close ur eyes its coconut time
Bust out the bag of nuts
ima cook u in (69)
Place my tung back in the oven
I'm going back to the mother fuckn bakery tonight
I got a sweet tooth
Lets cook cinnamon and an sugar cookies
U can keep me up all night
Sprinkle candy hearts
Ill use my finger to create the design
Ill start from ur neck work my way to ur back
then Pour me an tall glass plz
Il be Ur Santa clause with gifts like christmas time
cuz damn U taste
jus as good as cookies in the morning time....lol

I Am Forever Ever Green

My eyes see,
What my mouth don’t wanna move.
“So I guess My logic is
My mouth moves my eyes, and
Pushes volume threw my ears
So fuck it my stare speaks for me!”

((Any who))
For what its worth I'm not thinking about a topic….
(No titles)
Just words flowing so beautifully Like a tropic Rain forest….
Ever green pain nourish.
Ever mean pain cherish,
Ever seems very hellish,
In my ever greens

are u
(Jealous)
lol

Suicide ever seems
((Options))

I am the fucking touris!!!
I found my book ripped pages,
Words plummet from left 2 right.
Dimes turned into pennies
………………………………………………………………………………
Giving up my owe inevitable fight.……
This may not make since 2 ya,
and u are sooo mother fucking right!

Head bowed….

((((((hold on let me light)))))))

Let me sight,
I wanna write,
So hear me re site…..
let me tear ....Ur....
eyes
from his pages An glue them 2 mine!

I am defined With a definition ya mother fuckers Won't ever find!!
No dictionary deep enough To ever explain!
No expressions of my inner pain….
I am a stranger to myself,
In a ever green bubble
Of (smoke)
(Inhale)
{exhale}
I am for ever high…..

So I am forever Floating thru galaxies in time,
Counting sec,
to mins.
Preparing for hours,
too days,
Months too yrs,
And tears,
from fears of for ever being Alone……. FOREVER!

In a lonely world full of persecution Full of lies
Despicable butterflies
there beauty blinds My eyesight.

So yeaa I'm prepared forHurt,
and a fight.
Hooked myself up 2 a tank to help me Repaint this master piece
I've never Had the chance to finish…

I am forever incomplete Without someone at my side
Day thru night.

I've said
(911)
We have an emergency!
(A lost track of times)
Harmonizing my melodies one last time……
”So we have an emergency”
Code b4 9,
Color in
(blue)And (white)

May 17 my grandma died……………..
She lived to be almost 99……………….

I've lost track…………………….

35bars in fact! I plugged my headphones into my heart beat
Dialed the domestic violence line Told them 2 listen carefully….................................................

Ill.... never be the same an that's a fucking cataclysm!....
Ill.... never remain tame an that's a fucking hazard
TO THEM!
(I SAID THEM)

No topic deep enough 2 agree,
When ....Ur....
spirit shifts And ..Ur..
emotions become ....Ur.... worse enemy.

How do I begin to explain my internal pain?
”I'm a ever green topical rain forest”
ISNT THAT (Pretty) ENOUGH
To bad that's all u see!
And all I well ever be.

Thanks to my poetry I well forever be above level
AND ABOVE MORE THEN JUST THESE WORDS U READ.
IM above this analogy
And ....ur.... bleeding pen that ran out of ink,
When u walked into my life an tried to differ an agree!

broken

How much do u think she would be worth?
If she sold her soul for a Louie purse?

How much do u think he'd be worth?
If he told his church he was addicted toHeroin?
"probably nothing"

How much do u think shed be worth?
if she told Her mother girls were more her preference over men?

So as the world turns In this hour glass
Problems continue to accrue,
Family 4got what unconditional love Was.

So when he says he addicted to drugs
An she said she's gay
they lose all contact.
So self inflected pain becomes the relapse
Frustrated, an alone,Used, an abused,How can one come 2?
When the drugs tell him what to do.

Falling asleep on beneficial dreams
Losing hold of what life used to be.
Shooting UN needed things into his system
Just so he wouldn't have to fill 1 ounce of sadness An ill loneness.

She holds on to girl’s hands cuz the affections Rabid her heart And keeps her from falling apart,
When men pummel an rapped her,
Took what god gave an betrayed her.
When a ring became tears instead of smilesWhen her family asked her why???So UN answered questions become emphasis so
She closed her perceptions an perfected her own sins.
"God loves all"
thats what the church man once said.

Gold teeth,
baggy pants,
Dread locks,
an out lined in white calk,
(Screams)
flashy red an blue lights.
Tears hit the pavements in all silent.........
How can his mother come to realizing she could off saved the sirens if she would Have opened her mind an jus listened.

Cut wrist,
blood dripping,
Cold bodies,
no love given.
Godforsaken Located where no one can find her Misfire,
the illusions,
Her mama places her on milk cartons..
Acting like she cares again
She should of loved her when she said sheHad a girlfriend!!!!

So his pharmaceutical skims Rushing threw his blood stream
They found too much
(opium)
Pressing her tears against the cement Spelling words of aggravated assumptions
You should of called intervention!
Or tried to be a better mother when his father came up missing.
(In the end)
"Tears speak"
Dreams are broken into a million pieces
Families lost loved ones Diseased,
dissolutions,
All they can do is recollect Remembrance of what they once had.....
But never pay much attention to.....

Families are supposed too love UN conditional
No matter the situations!
In the end they were all worth a life living
But the absents of love made a live worth taken!!!

written

I'm written in the concrete Of the ghetto streets
Turned inside out with a white sheet

I'm written in my minds peak
Poking holes threw my eye lids
jus so Î can see
Using ventilations threw my heart so I can breathe

I'm written in the trees they smoke daily
Seen by one of the most abhorrence Faded into time
u missed me by the blink of an eye

I'm written in the glance of my spirits
In the hand prints of his ignorance
It’s my honor to be written in Ur what used to be existence

Im written in the flowers in every beautiful place
Smell the sweet love in my in brace
I've wrote blogs in the vines of roses
So if Î say I love you u have my loyalty

I'm written beauteous/flaws
Call me beautiful cuz my heart Shines threw the window of my soul
I'm the aid to Ur band aid that's placed in between Ur finger tips
Commented to the left hand used my right to close the door
To my unsaid tolerance

I'm written in books Ripped pages because looks can be deceiving

I'm written in the sand next to the attractive ocean
Waving to my past as the waters washes me away

I'm written phenomenally call me a women plz
I'm far from a girl see
I've grew my pin to close to me so first hand I know what I'm dealing with

I'm written in the cracks of pipes the tires of cars that flash rims threw the nite
the ones they steal cuz jealous is written in a lot of souls

I'm written in the fight between her an him Sorry
I'm amazing to ur boyfriends eyez
He grins an writes me into his notebook
"Poetry"

I'm written in my dads hand bookThe one he never reads
Written in his phone book the one he Never receives

I'm written in my enemy’s hit list Iniquitous symptom’s melt away a lot of hate
So list me in Ur pasted aversion And grow pasted me

I'm written a poet Using words to describe the life I've lived
The things I've seen shit I've been
told The weed I've smoked...

So don’t judge me

Cuz

I'm written in ur high test me

I'm written in heaven next to the angels who know me
The light shines bright and the night falls dark Call me
written
in the honor of a life that was taken
I use my eyes an my soul to live life for those who have fallen

I am written

shes bad

I've calculated the calculations
Of the diameter in her smile,
Siting on the edge of her lips,
Con lucubrate the knowledge that transpires
Her every image.
"Damn she's bad, man she's real bad."

Her emotions wicked the rain drops That dropped on my jacket
the day she feel inside With love.
Intense stare starves the remedy I hum along wit her melody,
and beat my head 2 her beautiful harmony.

"Damn she's bad, man she's real bad."
I've prolonged my visit,
Pushed out my plane ticket,
Packed my bags for the weekend....
Convent in this desire to study herMotions in her rearrangements
Rearranging my existence to be placed nextTo hers,
and Modeled it right next to her entity.

"Damn she's bad, man she's real bad."
(Entirely)
Flat minded,
quite the well rounded.
It dnt take much 2 have a good time and,
Around the clock smoking blunts Alone solely,
butVery much well in presents spiritually.
Pulchritudinous beauty,
She's beyond pretty Flowing my hands threw her hair
Smell the sweet coconut conditioner
Its heaven on earth........
Its peace peacefully...........

"Damn she's bad, man she's real bad."

She's bad in core,
spell the cords in music
She is music to my ears,
Deaf to there noises,
"i hear nothing but her..."
(Beat)

Her beat....

Her beat......

"She's bad damn she's bad,
MAN 2 BAD SHE'S MADE IN MY DREAMS."

But standing full hand,
10 fingers counting the linger smellIn between my finger nail
She's existed inside my imagination,
Inspired by MY OWN creation.

"She's bad,man she's real bad."
Her beatIs my harmony,
Her beauty is my melody,
An i am her poetry.....
Damn.............
"She's fucking bad man she's real bad."

i dnt wanna be

I don't wanna be another late night fuck after that drunken party...
don't wanna be Ur bitch,
Ur hoe,
Ur lady,
I wanna be Ur women,
not u side show bitch but Ur rida.

I don't wanna be that girl that lays up all night crying
Wondering why he hasn't called,
or wondering what he's doing.
Cuz a pimp is what I don't need.

I don't wanna be like them girls I see in the movies chasing someone Else man cuz there insecurities got there minds trapped.
Cuz hypnotically what I need is a real man that can hold me threw the night
An feel the bliss,
the realness….
I don't wanna be Ur ex,
Ur lost lover,
but Ur present.
I don't wanna be something u can't tell me…
cuz Ur afraid of what I might say,
But someone u can confine in,
someone's diary.

I don't wanna be jus Ur baby mama,
But Ur life.
I don't wanna be someones half way wife,
only for the moment type wife,
But for an eternity..
I don't wanna be the apple at the bottom of the tree that fell off cuz (no) wasn't Apart of her vocabulary.
cuz im the real women at the top,
The one u gota reach for,
the one that well scream (no) if I had to.

I don't wanna be that girl u ant got time to climb for.
But take Ur time for,
reach that apple cherish it.
But it takes a real man to accomplish those needs.
I don't wanna be that seed that doesn't grow cuz of what he did to me.
I wanna be the girl that dust herself off an puts all the gift behind me.

I don't wanna be Ur simple high,
but the high of Ur life.
So simple I wanna be Ur life.

See

I don't wanna be the first girl,
the last girl,
I wanna be the onlyGirl!.
I don't wanna be Ur fake I love you,
but the I love u with tears.
I wanna be the reason why u cry.
I don't wanna be the reason why u ask urself Why?
But know I mean every word I say.
I don't wanna be like the old me,
abused with fake lies Abused with the hand that supposed to confront u with.
I don't wanna be that girl every time I looked the the mirrorI see u.
but be the smile,
the life of that mirror.
The reason why u stand behind me as we look in that mirror an cry.
I don't wanna be another statistic,
killed from domestic violence Cuz she was too stupid to walk away.

I don't wanna be the girl that is found covered in her blood cuz she walked threw the wrong Hood instead of walking the other way.
I don't wanna be Ur collect call form the county jail Because of bad choices you made.
I don't wanna be Ur body guard,
Ur trophy,
Ur rag doll,
I wanna be Ur every breathe,
Ur every movement.
Most of all I wanna be the heart beat,
the first an last Time u speak.
Fuck it let me speak for u.

Cuz I don't wanna be that girl that sits in front of her house in a wheelchair Lonely cuz she never opened up to her lovers.
I don't wanna be Ur weed,
Ur Hennessey,
Ur lipstick bitch,
but UrWomen I wanna be Ur women..
Maybe my internal me Can be my everything,
cuz every time i go threw this it's the same thing.
I wanna be the lady my mama raised,
not the one my daddy gave,
not the one he Tore up
but someone I can be all by myself without anyone's help.
that's What I need

I don't need a man that's jus gonna lie to me,
An treat me like a late night fuck but a life time fuck.
i wanna be The girl that has the pimp in him die.
I don't wanna be Ur when u got time for hoe,
but the only one u have The time for.
Im a women not

Ur bitch
not Ur hoe
an defiantly not Ur late night Fuck after Ur drunken party.

convict

(Convict)
(Convict)
Who lives off broken promises,
Drinks from dirty glasses,
Wears handing down clothsFrom his 3 cousins…..

18 locked up on possession and gun charges
He felt protecting his family From domestics,
Was what made his world go round.
But the Mary go round only ends in the same spot………………

(Convict)
(Convict)
Who cries himself to sleep,
Holding on to UN realistic dreams,
”Hollow minds”
Sleeps on the streets.

(Glumness blues)
Now he sits 10 years behind bars,
Cuz sitting behind cars hiding from the police Just to protect his family,
(what's gain to lose?)
Cuz pushing white powder is how they afforded food.

(Convict)
(Convict) He's now label a
“number”
To society,
they Well never 4 getThe young black male just trying to survive,
So selling guns and drugs is what kept his family alive…
You see….
being a convict Made his life weak,
Turned his head inside out Sorta speak.
Applying for jobs, But they turn him down sorta tweak.
An in his mind he feels he well never be good enough Cuz the color of his skin ant white enough.
So his application never suited the nice black suite An tie,
Walking out of McDonalds in surprise.
He's a convict
So our society makes him feel Like his life is a waste of time…
(Hurtful)
(pain)
he put his family Through,
kills him daily what else to do.??
What's left to do???
but go back to wearing the same Fucked up shoes…..

(Convict)
(Convict)
Just trying to better himself Stood in line for 3 hours!
For a job (interview)
Interviewed the white man,
”Convict himself”
(Hired)
he walks out with a smile.
"Sorry guys, the job is filled."
the white man in the suit impressed our reflection.
See we live off stereotypes,
Like gays aren’t good enough to walk Down the street hand in hand,
Like the black manThat happens to make wrong preferences Superior to life’s differencance,
He well never stand up to the white man…..
The one that sales stolen phenns Crack from there Bentleys
Doesn’t even need the money!!!
Wearing a suit THATS worth (10 Gs)
When really all reality IS This young convict Would have gave his
“mind”
“body”
an “soul” sorta speak…
If only society (seen him differently)

Skipping over thoughts of suicide,
Selling drugs was his alterative,
Cuz we live in a world that don’t believe in 2nd chances.
”Some ppl make mistake a fucked up circumstance
Now his life gone he probably gone die in the pin.
”Like plies said,
he gave up on life And put it in gods hands What happen to America and a 2nd chance?((America))
Well never let the convicts live life after Sentence………
So they feel worthless in a sense.
Going back in again repeating the same fucked up charges.

(Convict)
(Convict)
Counting days marking x’s in his note books,
He says 30 more days and Ur life well be worthless…
((27 years old))
Back to gold teeth,
dread locks,
And sagging pants.
He's all of what society sees in the black man….
U see,
we make ppl believe that he well never amount to What distinguished great considerable
Amount to weak….
He's convinced slanging drugs An popping guns is all he well ever be!

(Convict)
(Convict)
Blinded by society,
Judged by the eyes of we,
Seen by the color of skins In thee…..
Americans broken dreams….
hes a convict, SO FUCKING WHAT (give him a 2nd chance plz...)

candy girl

I held a hersey kiss Up against ur chest
And watched it melt
The sexual assents Dripped between my thighs
My eyes cried sweet pineapple juice
Lick my face and suck my lips
Cuz with every kiss skittles
Surrounded my heavenly bliss

Chocolate gummy bears
man baby u taste soo sweet
I wanna lick u like a cherry lollipop
And pull my heart from ur valentines day box
Be mine plz

I held nerds in palm of my hand
I'm goofy Riding around town in Fred flintsone beat
Eating u like my gingerbread house daily
I wanna love you like candy
taste u like candy
Kiss u with candy
Wrap every sexually need in candy
Î call it tasteful sex
I wanna go between the mounds And lick the white stuff from the middle 1st
Have the whole town jealous cuz they crave our STARBURST
My candy girl NOW start over an read the 1st verse


I WELL REDUE THIS ONE DAY LOL

NO MORE TEARS

Dead silent………
”Nobody move”
Back away from the edges!!!!!
Words jumped from paper, and tookPen hostage,
Emotions committed suicide…
não mais rasga,
não mais medos,
I said no more tears,
no more fears….I
said no more tears,

Shedding glasses from eye balls
Fluid feel lungs no more dry walls??
Spiting poetry in every direction
Cuz when pen met paper They had this strong fucking connection….
It was like her, with she….
(Get it)
He, with him….
Clouds, to sun….
So opposite yet so beautiful,
like the sun When it rains,
Pouring rain in May
Flowers???

(Melting paper) Days.
Pen meets words Snatched verbs from tongues,
Feelings from souls,
lyrically spoken,
Spoken lyrical,
Fuck lyrical,
Suck me lyrical,
Pen took paper an fucked me lyrical!!!
Invetro the Prego belly of a beast
Knocking simple softheads into poetry’s heat……..

não mais rasga
não mais medos
I said no more tear’s
No more fears
Even those life
Gets hard,And Ur mind takes Ur penAnd Yells at paper…. makes words jump fromOne page 2 another,
911 we now have a poet emergency
((((WRITERS BLOCK))))
I
can’t explain love to MY mother
So I cry tears to another page….
It takes strength to get threw another……..
Sometimes dead silent is louder then Loud violence,
So I said no more tears no more fearsI'm dead silent……….

Murder

Stop being a (G) and be a man

Stop being a (hoe) and be a lady

Frm my body to my mind
I still feel the pain
Frm the touch,
to the screams
I still hear ur name

Frm my name on ur neck
to the ring on my finger
I still feel the lies

Frm the stalking times
to the I love yous
Frm the gun shots
to the police
why do u do what u do

Frm calling me a bitch
to feeling the words u
inflected
But seeing the truth
an feeling the truth
wasn't what u expected.

Frm inside my heart is were the voice is perfected
Screams I know longer here
anymore

Ur lies I know longer care
I dare u to test me
Ill load my 38 an lay ur ass 6 feet
Visited u every weekend jus in case u miss me
Kiss ur grave crying cuz this is what u did to me
((Trigger))
it was the hate that murdered u not janae...

Plz 4 give me

like a box of chocolates

I wish my heart tasted like candy
And each emotion I wish it tasted like laffy taffy
Cuz I eat my own pain(Daily)

"Mites as well make it taste good"

I wished my tears tasted like sour straws
Instead of hot sauce
And my fears where cookies
Donating my happinessTo the UN willing
(On sell for 50cents)
Hurry and get a bag..

I wish every bullet tasted like A heresy's kiss
Replace the gun For a box's of chocolates
What's love without Red heart sweets..

I wish every kiss tasted like Skittles
(Blue bag plz)
Replace Ur hands With 12 dozen chocolate roses

I wish life was as easy as taking Jell-O
shots At parties
Different flavors for different feelings Separating the blue m&ms
with the green an red
Ill eat the yellow 1st
(Save the best for last)

I wish each wound Tasted like apple pie
Making my life taste like the rainbow Floating in the sky..
And the rain..
Tasted like coconut,
sweeter than a almond joy

I wish pain tasted as good as sex
Screaming Ur name Replacing my hands with lollipops
Making love taste like sweet raspberry popsicles
With a side order of peanut griddle
An egg nog at Christmas time

I wish life smelled like a heavenly bliss And tasted like a verity pack of sweet Milk chocolates.
Love is my skittles
Rapped in A BOX thats the shape of my heart
(((((((((((((Candy anyone))))))))))))))
I wish life was like a box of chocolates
sweet an simple

prefected beauty

She raped her personality in a rainbow box
Perfected her love wearing black gloves
Tasted the dreams slipping from the tip of her Tung
Her professional beauty blinds my inner self
Infinity is her perfections she knocks me out with her touch
I'm dazed in love holding on to promises made
From doves using feather to share love
Using kisses and hugs embracing blessings
Putting methophores to dressing jus to write u poetry
I'm indulged in floerty making love to u lyrically
Spiting Tungs vividly
She smiles like the sun
Just brightens my day
I'm cheating myself night and day
My dreams of her sensuality caresses my sexuality
Making me crave for her love
She's a shooting star I've made my wish
Her lips fit to mine Ive tasted her lush
She's perfected beauty in the name of love
Truthfully
I wrote love quoted my fantasies
And dreamed about being in love unconditionally

she

She hold hands with her soul
And Whispers to faith
......................................
Everything is gonna be okay

She argues with herself
An debates her action with her hearts face
................................................
But her emotions are now blank

She crys to herself
Holds her pillow at nite
Contiplating her days
Asking god why

Questions never answered So she prays
She steps one foot in front of the other
Tripping over the hurtful steps Screaming inside herself
Î guess this is the only way

She's reaching for a friend
With ears to listen
.............................................
but in reality

Words couldn't begin to express
half of what she feels inside
So she turns her feelings an her crys to the man that lives in the sky

Watch over my loved ones
And never let them fade
Cuz she couldn't see herself living another day

She holds her tears in an sucks up her pride
She lives off memory until the day she dies
Her spirit walks with her screaming to both ears
Stay strong within time things well come to agree
Tears shes cried well be worth crying for
an time she spent well be worth spending for
She whipped her tears that rest at the end of her lips
Made a commitment to herself
Let the time tick
And in time she well see if it was all worth it
...................................................

something yall wont understand

I'm not commonplace
I'm more like vintage
Siting on the shelf waiting for her..........

Even tho my brain becomes
Harebrained
ur idiotic ways Dnt recreate my master piece
So try again plz
"exs always tend to amaze me"

I have celebrated 22 years
The animation,
i drew the artThat assembles my aliveness
So imparting ways becomes lifeless
my heart Turned on 2 lites now in stead of one
I can see you clearly lets try again

I seen slothful visionsTook pictures of there mind collisions
So what am i
I'm ravishing ur brightest dreams
Yet nite mares may seem to be seen
So who am i
I'm intense
an seen more then I well ever admit

May i evaluate you?
Cuz ur worth it
So i put my heart on hold calculated
The moments I am women
I cry
Î get mad
And sometimes Î even commit sins

But i know the one person I'm inlove
with So fuck what the outsiders think
Ill write u in my everlasting poetry
so U won't ever 4 get me
And ill soak the moment we did have
And hook them up to my machine
U keep me breathing

ummmm

This paranormal Mind state
And this UN normal love Fling
This dress
And these heels
Not me
This music note
And young lady DefinesBeauty

But U have to look hard to see
This pain
And this smile
Cuts deep
But I well work on My inner mind state
Happiness replaces pain So smile when Ur hurt
And cry when Ur happy
Cuz this ad normal lifeTends to get the best of thee
This lip stick
And green eye shadows
I hide behind the for shadows of Glee
and anguish

These keys
And this car
this house
An this home
This child
and this love
I've worked hard to feel less pain

God has provided me to gain
Self confidence and perfections
This job
an this life
This world
an this strife

May take some stress making yellows
White
Sometimes takes what we once had An colors our mantel black
There for we all became blinded
So poverty is what we don’t see
So helping he or she is out the statement
SeeThis money
and this fame
This music
in this game

Has ppl selling souls
To prove they have what it takes
This peace
And this war
this hungry
An this poor

What are we really fighting for?
This death
an this life
This emotion
an this knife
Cuts deeper then one can imagine
We are all blessed to be alive
This tainted
unpaintedWorld

wide we all feel the pain In this high tide
This tear
On this face
This fear
is this Childs in brace
holdingPillow cases
singing lala bys to sleep
Scared no hug can replaceThis mind raping
2 faced3 words
I love you

Can hurt one
This pillow
And these cases
These walls
an these places
Have shut down on close minded
So there's no need to explain
Cuz these sentences
an these words
Don’t replace what's happening in this world

So with this smile
An with these eyes
I've wrote life in a poem an Made words glide
These angry
these sad
This is what happens when tragedy’s is all One knows
this makes noo sense
"life"
Sometimes dosent make sense
So with this pen
An this paper
Î wrote this pain
An cried many tears
Made
(bad)
something
Good

Swore with this right-hand
Cross our hearts
pray we don’t die
With thoughts unsaid
So with this cross
We pray save us another day
So we can express ignorance’s unsaid
And replace it with intelligence Î know we all once had...........

Creations

Chained to the most solid bricks,
Energized by one of the most foggiest sticks,
See views... (of UN viewed shit.)
"Tied up an left for dead".....
Ok Enough with the confusing shit.....
Emotions flood my body like a tsunami,
Cloudy days never been so sunny,
On edge stretching for happiness,
But on my suspends
"muted"......

Seeing visions of how my life should be!
Reaching for stars... but,
only receiving ways to become milky In UN answered galaxies.
on hours,
in mins,
traveled threw time Putting words together.
Making them not make sense,
cuz(Hell)My life never has made sense anyway.....
And my mama always said read until u understand,
Listen until u understand,
And write until u can't....

Neyo my soul with gods creations,
Bowing down to his temptations to create us all equal.
Giving us different personalities,
working harder on some Leavening others to phin for themselves,
but in his eyes Were all beautiful anyways
So don't worry what ppl say.......

Crossing misjudgmentOn stereotype comments....
"He created us to love each other"
Timing thee UN timeless,
Loving thee UN loved,
Giving back to the homeless,
Spearing a dollar making change for more then jus 1 moment.....

Drinking potions of in love disguisesTelling one Ur in love but surprise’sPop up.
(numbers pop up)Feeding into lies an bullshit
Hands pop faces, leaving buries unable to cover up....
"He didn’t create us for this"
But he didn’t create us to be perfect!
So flaws are never flawless,
i jus learned to see rii threw them.
Money creates more problems,
More fake Ness, more mask covering the truth,In this creation.....
Lighting up his creation,

getting highOff his creation,
Dieing by our creations,
Laid to rest in peace,
cuz I believeThere's no peace until Ur barried 6 feet...."
And my falosphy isDieing is easy, living is the hard part.
"Continuing Ur heart to beat,
Then stopping Ur beat..........
Clapping Ur hands, stomping ur feet,Screaming, an yelling,
"God why"
why didn’t u create us all equal?
Why didnt u create her to live passed he?
Like (Adam an eve)
Picking one apple to eat,
One soul mate to be in love with,
in this whole creation.

Flowers symbolize love an affections,
Grown from ground up,
Starting as a seed,
blossoming from the root....
Like our ancestors that struggle to survive in world war 3
An the great depression.
now were facing a recession
A time were we need to join hands an come together as one ofHis biggest creations!

IT WAS

It was my tears,
That transformed into something Deeper then the oceans base,
Escaping my eyes like a horse in a blinded race
One direction no options.
Rally’s of tears squabble back in forth
Who can reach the end of my cheeks in time…..
Creating emotional rhythms………………………….
“I want 1st place”
Nooo divisions upon the victim.
It was my eyes that didn’t see,
Clouded from everything And anything.
My life was like a candle
Dripping wax down my soul
Trapping my spirit inside these holes,
Scampers each and every feeling.

It was my feet that went numb,
Making each step indigestible Skipping threw old memories
Jumping from rock to rock
How did Î teach myself well enough?
Swimming was discretionary.
(Life jackets)
was my (stray jacket)
It was the hands,
The torpid finger tipsExistence of there egos,
Not trusting my presents well enoughWith my ppl.

It was my ears that heardFalse info,
Lies burned the drum out So the beat of my heart remainedBeating alone.
Leaving the bass Echoing threw my inner core.
The sound never fades Voices continue to spade Down my body like chills on a sunny day.
It was the ppl,That heard me scream but never showedUp...
"so I ate at my existence alone."
It was my heart that believed Whatever my mind said,
its egotism The foundation of my inner fragments leaves Excessive preoccupations grounded. (((((Love me just love me)))))
Tricking myself into something I never wanted to be!
Connecting my head phones to my heart,
I now listen to my inner self sing,
I don’t need anyone to fix me
(I'm not perfect)
But I'm someone’s everything they want and need...

Music

We placed a piano, an a drum.
attached the cords to the lower((Drum head))
With that we make music.
Blew our vocal cords to a muted suspends,
Our pens grew ears an listened,
No questions needed.......

Wrote some form of poetry On a clear piece of paper,
Visualize stardom....
Seen the flashing lights from the window Of our dreams.
But it takes more then (15)
toMake reality real,
And silent loud enough to kill.
Burning ears with the voice box,
Clearing hallways as they walk by....
They put there ass up for show!
Beat drums threw the hall ways of high schools
"Go stupid, dumb dumb."
Sang songs they wrote Out of there note books,
"Dreaming, dreams do come true."

But the problem is money talks,
Why the poor sleep walks threwObstacles they thoughtThey never over come.
An u wonder why they sale souls As collateral for a record deal.
"Sign me,"
let the lights see the flaws
from the faceInside the eyes
to the minds Is where the talent is reserved.
Praying god well put hands down an Sprinkle magic to a thrown turned.......
So with the snare connected
We turned up the head phones
(((((((((((((((Beat))))))))))))))))
Sounds like the heart beatTo a new baby,
So unborn this may be.
But fuck it follows Ur dreams
It takes one person to see!
On Broadway they ask for (32) bars
That's (32) reasons they ask of me So I wrote (33) an kept my poetryTo myself,
Cuz I don't need fame to make ppl see......

Î wanna open blinded eyes an make them see,
But see (16) bars is the standard length for allThese hip hop songs,
And half of them have no meaning.......
It took (50) sec to writeWhat I can speak in (3).
"I love music,"
"I love poetry,"
"I love beats."
So if we put them all togetherAn create meanings,
Our children well then learn something.
(Echo threw time)
Hear the screams,
and cries,
The music speaks for ppl with noLines,
No guidance’s,
No time,

Music is supposed to be an artist biography.......
Not to be seen as how many bitches u can fuck in a week,
Or how much money Ur actually making,
Or how many blunts Ur rolled,
An pipes u tweaked!
I tattoo music notes on my backCuz music is inside me...
I write lyric to my life,
"Ppl inspired me."
The ones that write lyrics instead of nonsense,
The ones that make beats from the ground up,
Connected turn tables to a drum set, to a head set,
Making things possible.
Changing life’s threw tracks.................................................Stop the beat.......
an listen to what's inside of thee

Music is my outage, to the plug I use to charge my inner self esteem,
Don’t ever look passed me.
Make eye contact,
And understand,
I'm not here to judge any man,
Or woman working hard to get where they stand,
But define music with a realistic meaning’s And make them
(16) bars worth signing!!!!!

Everlasting

"Amaranthine"
Counting my last mins around the clock
Re counting love standing in the palm of my hand
"Love me" jus love me!!

(Immortal)
Constant struggle
Running my head in circles
Relentless I love you always
(Eternal)Never-ending
I said I love youSo my love is everlasting
I have (zealot)
"I'm a freak,"
I don’t fancySick fucks.
(impulse)Engraved UN needed things into skins Of they....
I've thrown u off a whim devotedTime an the 2nd hand made my love yet again(((EVERLASTING)))

Cross eyed beast,
Red eyed freak,
When I scream bitchess u finna hear me!
A Homicide has jus accrued inside me So call me diabolical,
hellish,
satanic,
I'm crazy some say....
"But hell that's for all the niggas that pushed janae."

Tube sock wearn,
s8 bording sexi thang,
Rocking skinny jeansWith a middle finger rainbow ring.
(Head down crying)
Wondering why she feels inside she's really dieing
Praying her parents well jus understand one day.
Instead of just trying....

(Considerable)
Sizable, well rounded child
Seeing threw blind folds.
Noted absent in high school,
Walked the track smoked weed in (pe)Didn’t dress for occasions..
hardlyGave a fuck about what vacations were going on inside Her existence.
Wrestled the fact she had 2 kids b4 18
Education never seemed to be her dream.
An he said he loved her ever lasting,
demising,
denying the fact He even stuck his dick inside her thang.

poor sinful making wicked choices don’t even know right from left,
from pain to hurt,
from love to lies,
All she knows is the weapon that lies between her thighs...
((Ill))........Some say (janae)
The words u portray blow my brain Like spaghetti on the concrete
That the birds eat as the sun sets
My pen in vicious,
My paper is curious to see what comes next.
So Î snap pictures of real life shit And let my pen tell the rest...
Like a story of all my life bullshit
Like a plasma TV that plays illusions About interventions,
At a stadium full of homeless
Struggling to eat.
I'm ever lasting like a pen that never runs out of ink.
My love is potent like a drug dealer that runs the streets,
Like a user that's been in way to deep
Like a child that can't sleep
holding pillows on each side of there earsinundate
the submerge hatred of there parents fighting.
I'm everlasting like a world without ending
And a love that's amaranthine...................AND A POEM WITH MORE THEN 1 MEANING THIS PAIN IS EVERLASTING